Being Vulnerable

After reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, I started to think...

There are many many images of what a man should be. There are the common pictures of men with power, girls, cars, money, and muscle. But what I find more damaging and wrong is the picture of a man's personality and soul. This inner image is of a one who appears to be invincible; one who always knows the right things to say, does not show any weaknesses, is dutiful, mature, and sometimes authoritative. He has strong opinions and is able to express them at will and influence others. He is constantly striving to perfect himself in achieving the many goals he has set in his life and trying to prove himself to others that indeed he is becoming or has become a man. Many around us, including myself, have or are trying to prove themselves worthy in becoming called a "man". It is a sign of respect and accomplishment because it shows that you mature, growing, and doing better than others who appear to be weak and clueless.

This image that many are satisfied with and try to obtain may be our greatest weakness. In the process of becoming the image of a man, we try to mold ourselves from the imperfection that we think we are into an ideal image we have made in our heads or others have instilled in us. Most guys don't want to stay immature, but want to be respected and approved. When I ask what is your goal in life or your greatest dream, many guys will answer: be recognized, be influential, enjoy life, and serve God or something along those lines. However, what follows that is: "I'm am afraid that I will never achieve this." Some others will avoid admitting it. The same fear and anxiety shows when guys try to obtain the image of a man. We first adopt an image of how that "man" should be and then go after it and seek approval from ourselves and other people. We try to mold ourselves into a statue without blemish. We constantly reevaluate ourselves and see how others approve our process in growing up. We want to become a man so badly that push aside and hide our weaknesses and we convince ourselves we have grown instead of confessing them and accepting them. We then blame our failures because we are not man enough, and not because we are truly imperfect.

Expose any man's weaknesses and you will break him and destroy his status as a man. I find that the strongest guys are one's that are not afraid to confront their weaknesses and let others know of them. They are confident in their identities as people and do not seek approval from others in their growth. They are also more realistic than those who try to mold themselves into Mr. invincible. However, most guys cannot do so because we are constantly attacked by girls and each other. Call a guy "emotional" or a "sissy" and he will sink back into trying to improve his image as a man. Many have the dream of being naked on stage. This stems from the fear of being exposed. Men are supposed to be courageous, leaders, and a role model for others, but let us seek to be those qualities while keeping in mind we are people are also. And people are broken, imperfect, and a bunch of failures (How many of us have really achieved what we originally wanted in life?) I wanted to be in the MLB, or have a 4.0, but look at me and you can definitely tell I don't.

Pushing aside our weaknesses and issues in our lives only hurts us even more. The Bible teaches healing and confession. "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16. When we hide our weaknesses to others, it is very hard for us to receive healing. Men need Christ the same way women need Him; to receive love, healing, and acceptance. When men do not confess that they are imperfect, it is very hard for him to heal. But also, men need a strong image to follow, one that is not distorted or unrealistic. We need to stop following the wrong image of a man we have made up in our own minds and following the right one. It all starts in laying down the facade we have all grown too comfortable in.